I Know My Redeemer Lives

“The more we are afflicted in this world, the greater is our assurance in the next; the more sorrow in the present, the greater will be our joy in the future.” – St. Isidore of Seville

I have found a lot of comfort in these words, and I must believe the words of Saint John Paul II when he wrote “Suffering seems to be particularly essential to the nature of man.”

Suffering has been a theme in my son, Gabriel, and I’s life, and even in the lives of so many of the poor we live among here lately. I have been reflecting on the book of Job in the Bible for the last couple of months. I’ve been struck by the theme it contains of suffering, and in particular, the salvific and divine meaning it has for each of us if we dare to embrace it.

I feel that the theme of living in solidarity with the poor continues to beg for more of us as our years in the mission field increase. On January 1st my friend Paula left this world, the world that inflicted so much pain on her. However, she was very much like Job. She accepted the will of God, and she never quivered, hid from it, or cursed God for her suffering. Her journey on this earth was not kind to her by any means. She was mute, her husband abandoned her, her daughter was born with Down syndrome, and her sister who was in charge of taking care of her was in many ways like the wicked stepmother, a villain that took advantage of her in more ways than one.

It was hard for me to journey with Paula, to see her deep suffering. Her last few weeks on earth were even more harsh than her 57 years of life had been. One Friday morning I received a call saying that she was in the hospital, so I rushed down the mountain to find out what was wrong. Her toes had turned purple. The doctors said that she must have had a cut, and it got infected. And due to her undiagnosed and uncontrolled diabetes, she was going to lose her toes. Despite the Sunday before where she seemed healthy at Church. I prayed with her, stepped out to talk with her sister about treatment, and asked how I could help. To my horrific surprise, I was told that she would not give consent to the doctors to operate on her sister. I pleaded, prayed, involved the parish priest, and despite my pleas, Paula was sent home to die a very slow and painful death.

The rotten flesh grew quickly and within a week it moved from her toes to her ankle. The next week it moved to her knee, then to her thigh, and eventually her organs. I felt so much anger and sadness and each time I was visiting her, I could not understand why she had to die without the sister trying to save her. For me, I found it to be cruel, but that is the reality of where I serve. Due to an undiagnosed disease, uneducated family members, and the tolerance of pain and suffering that the poor deal with on a daily basis, this situation that my poor friend Paula was in was to be expected and viewed as being normal.

However, despite all the suffering Paula endured, it reminded me of Job—she was confident and her actions reflected his words in a real and concrete way for me when he stated, “I know my Redeemer lives, and at last he will stand upon the earth; and after my skin has been thus destroyed, then from my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see on my side” (Job 19:25-27).

Gabriel and I visited her throughout her final journey. Gabriel played her guitar, we sang songs, and we read the promises of her inheritance in God’s Kingdom made in Scripture to her. I was able to bring her Communion during each visit and she never cried, nor did she ever shed a tear. During her final journey, she remained smiling and full of confidence.

My heart was so happy when I received the call early on January 1^st that she had just passed away because I knew that she would find the most perfect peace and love that she searched for her entire life here on earth.

Pray for Gabriel and I, as we are still mourning the loss of a dear friend and please pray for the poor here and all around the world that Jesus can relieve their sufferings on this side of heaven.