The Gift of True Friendship

Every human heart desires to be fully known and loved. At the core, that is why I became a missionary. My mission is to help people come to find what they are searching for. In truth, what their heart so desperately longs for is not a “what,” but rather, a “who:” Jesus Christ.

After one and a half months of serving in the Philippines, I found myself at the foot of Jesus’ cross begging Him for a friend. In a country as warm and friendly as the Philippines, it is very easy to meet people. However, when trying to form a deep friendship with someone when you do not speak the same language, it quickly hits a wall. As the excitement of moving to my mission post was fading, the inability to make deep friendships accentuated the feeling of loneliness that began to creep in. My heart was aching to be known and loved and to know and love someone else.

The inability to make deep friendships accentuated my feeling of loneliness that began to creep in.

One Saturday, I got on my bike and rode it to the church to be with Jesus and bare my aching heart to him. After crying and praying in the church, I walked to the nearby markets and met Ate Jessa. Immediately this struck me: I could understand her. She spoke English! We kept talking, and judging by our shared excitement, it seemed we both had much to share, but with no one to receive—until now. Our conversation ended with me promising to return soon.

The next day, I visited Ate Jessa at the cafe where she works. In between helping the trickling customers, she shared her testimony with me. I learned she is a mother to four children, and providing for them has never been easy. She shared that every single day, she surrenders her problems of providing food and care for her children to Jesus, because she cannot do it herself. She shared so many intimate, personal, and vulnerable details of her story with me. She simply opened up and let me love her. When she finished sharing her story, she did not hesitate to ask for mine. I, too, shared my testimony, allowing her to know and see me.

Over that year, I spent countless hours with Ate Jessa, visiting her at work and hanging out with her and her children in their home. We shared many tears, laughs, and stories. One day, Ate Jessa was in tears as she told me she was pregnant. This would be her fifth child. She was in shock and desperately trying to figure out how she was going to provide for another child. I could see so clearly her courageous and driven heart to love and care for her children. I prayed for and with Ate Jessa throughout her pregnancy. We traveled around the island for hospital visits, waited hours to see doctors, jumped through hoops to obtain government aid, and continued to grow in friendship with each other.

Months later, when my own health was in question, I discerned that I would stay in the US and not return to the Philippines as planned. Ate Jessa was the first person I told. I rode my bike to her work. The moment we saw each other I burst into tears, ran to her, and let her embrace me. As I tried to blubber on about why I was crying, Ate Jessa somehow understood and shushed me while repeating, “It’s okay, Erika. God has a plan…God has a plan.”

Ate Jessa was not just “the poor” to me, and I was not just “a missionary” to her.

During my training in FMC, we were encouraged to not only serve the poor, but to make real friends with the poor. Ate Jessa was not just “the poor” to me, and I was not just “a missionary” to her. We are genuine friends who not only receive each other in those vulnerable moments, but love one another in them.

I met Ate Jessa moments after asking Jesus for a friend. Later, I learned that she, too, had been praying for a friend. Jesus wanted to reveal a truth about His own heart to us through our friendship. While our friendship is a gift from the Lord, ultimately, it points to this truth: Jesus longs for us. He longs for us to invite Him into every part of our heart. He longs for us to know that we are fully known and loved by Him.

While Ate Jessa and I could not solve one another’s problems, we could love each other through them and point each other to the loving heart of Jesus Christ.

Ate Jessa gave birth to her daughter on December 19, 2023, and named her Erika Thalia. I am currently on home assignment in California as I take care of my health.